Far from what ?
What am I running from or running to.
Recently I did some of my long awaited and planned trips with friends. Two trips in India including Kedarnath and one abroad to Malaysia and Singapore. There has been some constant thoughts I have been pondering on the same question as the title. Let me start with explaining it first.
I love the act of traveling, planning, going out, seeing new things, places, and adding these in my experiences. It feels joy to me because it seems far, new. I like going far. Because it seems new, every time. Exactly, just here I don’t understand the act of loving being far, being new; far from what?
Now comes more on traveling and self.
I don’t like going to places, just for the sheer act of seeing, tasting, feeling things. I like to know, how my body, my mind respond to all things new. I believe, it’s part of my discipline to train the self for the new, always. It always takes my mind, how a well planned trip goes all in to spontaneity as soon as it starts. That’s a matter of different blog, the spontaneity along with a disciplined plan. Albeit the question sticks, why am i so obsessed with new, something which feels distant to the contemporary time and space.
What am I running from, or running to? Am I sick of being old, constant, or its the people? Am i running from the time where my thoughts stinked of mediocrity? When you have no particular answer, all options seems correct in a way. Am I being an absurdist, maybe, but I wanna find it. I actually have a very strong contestant to this - from myself, from everything that belongs to the old me. Then does that mean, someday I would find it content to be far from the present state too? Or is there a canon event I am looking for?
I am not trying to find the meaning of traveling for Nihilists, I just wanna feel the thing which always motivates me to go, to try, to do, only then I can use that to find where I wanna be, where I can be content enough to be still. I continue to find my answers in new places and things, because it seems easier to go to places than it is to go to people.
Still I love and will love the sheer act of traveling for self discovery and understanding abundance, what brings that.
Shall be continued.